The “NO LIFE” in the Stay at Home Mom Life

Have you ever had someone tell you that there is no life in being a stay at home mother?

I did and in fact heard a lot of awful stories about stay at home motherhood to the point that I hated being one as a young woman. I dreaded being one and even swore that I would never be like “them.” Oh I feel so shameful remembering how much I looked down at stay at home mothers only to realize that I’d eat my words and be a full pledged SAHM.

Fast forward to present as a stay at home mother, I realized I had it all wrong. I had the wrong perception about moms who stay home. Whether it’s a deliberate decision or the lack of choice perhaps, whatever led them to jumping into it, it’s still is a challenging journey that to me eventually turned out to be an adventure-filled kind of life.

When I started explicitly telling people about our family’s decision that I stay home, I received all sorts of reaction – bad, good, surprised, disappointment, fear of the future, and many others. And it can’t be helped. I think the people around us were just used to seeing me as a work/career driven person that never in a slightest hint that they’d hear me say it straight out – “I’m a stay at home mother now”.

Some would give unsolicited comments like, “sayang ka, magaling ka pa naman at bata pa,” or “bakit naman yan ang napag desisyunan nyo.” Questions here and comments there. A lot of them were thrown out like it was the worst that we have gotten our family into.

And honestly, I felt like it was actually the worst decision. I regretted being one and at some point scrambled myself to searching for a job again and get myself back to my corporate life. But as I always say this, God had it all planned out for me from the start. It was His design for our family that no matter how much I struggled to go against His will, I always ended up going back to this stay at home motherhood kind of life.

3 years and so into being a stay at home wife / mom, I realized I have all the reasons in the world to believe that NO, being a stay at home mother is NOT lifeless. In fact, it’s full of life – the fun and challenging kind of it. When I look back, it’s really in this season in my life that my wings have begun to spread. A time that I actually went out of my comfort zone and stepped into the unknown while I try to find my way around it. Learning, unlearning, and re-learning things here and there. Finding the joy, getting disappointed, failing at a lot of things, and the list just goes on.

It was the kind of adventure I have never had working in the four corners of an office space, clocking in and out every single day.
Not that it was bad. I actually loved it. Only that I found the best adventure as I have now being a stay at home mother.

To share with you some adventures I have gotten myself into for the past three years and so as a stay at home mother and to emphasize that nope, being a SAHM is not that all awful things you hear, I’m sharing some of the things that I have learned, started, created, embraced and learned to love throughout this season.

1. Learned how to drive. I have always been frightened at the thought of making a vehicle run, but this fear had to be conquered.
2. Processed documents at various government offices. A lot of my adulting reality happened while processing documents in different government institutions.
3. Enjoyed going to the grocery and ‘palengke’ on weekdays.  Yes and I actually look forward to this every week. 🙂
4. Embraced simplicity and minimalism most especially in our material possessions.
5. Loved meeting friends and catching up with them on weekdays making my weekends untouchable for Mamacademy events and family affairs. There is absolutely nothing like enjoying less crowded Malls on a weekday.
6. Started a discipleship group for fellow Moms. I absolutely feel thankful for having this kind of group that I find that much needed Mom support.
7. Started a small business. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine myself to be an Entrepreneur. Only in this season of being a SAHM that God has led me to a desire to start it.
8. Learned basic Accounting through the business that I started. And if you know me, you’d know I don’t have the patience with NUMBERS. I’d honestly prefer to skip that but being a SAHM gave me a different perspective about learning new things including ACCOUNTING. Hahaha!
9. Learned how to cook and bake decent meals and not just because I want it as a hobby but because I have to cook everyday of my life at least twice in 24 hours. So, yup, include decent and non-repetitive Meal Planning in the list.
10. Taught a live workshop. It has always been my dream to teach adults. Nothing of that dream ever happened during my past working life until I became a SAHM and finally got the push to do it. Yaaaaas!

And many more.. Perhaps, these may be just trivial adventures for some but I tell you my adventure as a young adult only kicked off when I became a SAHM. Not only because parenting and married life comes with forced maturity with all the roles and responsibilities it brings, but because I knew in my heart that if this is what God has called me to do for a long time then I better make the most out of it – overcoming the whirlwind of emotions that comes with staying home, standing up for my role as a mother and a wife, and battling through the transition of letting go a personal desire of nurturing a career.

Yup, staying home drives me nuts most of the time with all the work that I do to run the whole household affairs plus take care of a very active toddler girl. But hey, it’s not all that. Somewhere in between the mom life, there are moments that makes me think, that yeah, it’s not all the bad stuff. Apart from being able to personally care for my family, there is that tiny silver lining in this season that we are in. That apart from it being one of the most demanding roles we’ve had to date, there is got to be the good side to it. It may be a boring and sucky life to others as it might easily present itself to onlookers, but honestly, if I look through it, it reminds me that God has placed me in this season for a good reason. And He still allows me to enjoy it after all.

It may not be exactly the same adventure as I imagined and planned for my life being a young adult, but it is the kind of adventure that God has intended me to enjoy and make the best of.

If you’re a SAHM like me, I pray to send encouragements your way as you read this, that no matter how your day looks like, it’s still possible to enjoy this season and make this the best adventure ever by God’s grace.
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4 comments / Add your comment below

  1. I remember how the younger me would respond to people who say that I ONLY stay at home. I give them the “Don’t me” look! Wag ako! Haha! But now that I am more “mature” and the kids are older I have a little more freedom to work from home and manage our small business. But like you said, I’ve learned to live a simple life without the perks of additional income if I work outside the home. 😊

    1. Hello, Jude. So nice to see you here and thanks for dropping by! God indeed perfectly uses circumstances in our lives to shape us into the kind of person that He desires us to become. So happy for your “more time and freedom” season – in time, we look forward to having that too. 🙂 God bless!

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