My husband leaves the house all in order and comes home to a house that’s pretty much figured out by no less than the MOM — me. That’s quite a daily routine for us. He leaves the house, I take care of the ground work at home, and not just any ordinary work, you probably know that fellow SAHM, and comes home in the evening not having to worry about how the day went or if the house work were completely ticked off the to-do list.
What kind of work does my husband entrusts to me daily:
– clean the house
– feed the baby with nutritious and not junky stuff
– cook whole foods for the family
– manage the bills payment
– bring baby to her playdates or classes
– do the weekly grocery and palengke trips
– go to the bank and do errands
– manage and oversee the house repairs
– interview, hire, and manage house helps
– make sure baby has learning time
– take care of the tiny bits of stuff at home (sew clothes, change beddings, etc).
And many more in between. So you imagine, a mom can be a Driver, a household Manager, Finance Manager, HR person, Teacher, Sewer, and everything else while he’s practically away and works. And for the most part, I honor him for all the work he does for the family – providing through his work, making executive decisions for the family, planning out for us, leading us spiritually, discipling us and many more. He has his fair share of the “ground work” too.
One time, out of the blue, I randomly asked him, “does it make you feel more confident and assured that I’m the one staying at home and taking care of our child?” And sure enough, I’ve never heard him say the loudest and most confident YES until I popped the question. And mind you, I did not throw the question to imply anything negatively. I asked because I want to know how he feels about me staying home.
His words were something like – “I can work peacefully and confidently concentrate on it because I know that you are well on top of everything at home.”
And WOW – I felt like I got the best SAHM award of the year. TRUST – big word. Hahaha. But seriously, would you not feel the same if your husband tells you something like that? I kid you not, I was smiling ear to ear as if I received the best recognition ever. Well, it really was for stay at home mom/wife like me.
And that short conversation turned recognition, appreciation, and affirmation made me realize, that yeah, I’m not only staying home for mundane things like house cleaning, cooking, and the rest of the work that we often see as nothing extra ordinary for stay at home mothers like me. Me staying home with our little girl and working on the work at home is giving my husband the peace of mind. And that’s absolutely worth more than anything else for me. The stress that relieved off because they don’t need to worry about who’s holding the baby and if the baby’s being fed right and many other things that they don’t need to think about anymore. These things that we’re doing to help them focus on what they can and have to do as the leader of the family.
This does not mean that working moms do not give their husbands the peace of mind – absolutely not in that context. And I don’t mean to speak of their journey differently and negatively. They have their own share of struggles and challenges as much as we do. So, please, let’s spare of the comparing and judging. We all know how much work each mom does and how much everyone deserves equal recognition, affirmation and appreciation.
Going back – if today, the following week, or the months and years ahead you’ll feel like you’re doing the same mundane house work over and over and you feel like you’ve buried yourself at home not getting yourself out there to work, think again. You’re doing the tremendous work of being a WIFE and MOM. All these things that we’re doing may not translate into immediate results as what we’re used to being measured with back in our corporate careers. But the results, I trust God, are far long enduring.
Nurturing a family, supporting a husband, raising your children intentionally, being a mom and the wife that God designed us to be is never easy but reaps the best harvest at the end of it all. And in the end, when we’ll all give an account to God of how we were as a wife and mother, we’d be able to say, “I served them Lord as if I was serving you face to face.”